My Invitation To You

I am not a fan of poetry by any means, but this one made me so happy because it is EXACTLY what I believe and am looking to follow in my life.  I would LOVE for this mentality to spread.  Instead of comparing yourself to other people, you can actually learn who they truly are and find how to utilize each others' strengths to create the most efficient and thriving society.  I've come to find that so many people do not know who they are.  I am still on that journey myself.  But to know that your worth is not defined by what you own or where you live or what your career is - that is a discovery that will dump you off right in front of that "path" you have probably been searching for your whole life. 

Women often feel threatened by other women.  Who cares if the girl in the office isn't wearing a thong and has panty lines?  Who cares if the mom is nursing instead of bottle-feeding?  Who cares if the neighbor doesn't eat meat?  We should be holding each other up, teaching each other how to be stronger, giving advice and taking advice, accepting that others may have a different way of living than we believe to be true.  The stronger the woman standing next to you is, the stronger you will be - therefore the stronger the whole society of women will be!  It is too easy to get sucked up into the cattiness of this nonsense of putting down women.  Notice how you do NOT feel better when you contribute to those conversations.  You may not realize it in the moment, but trust me, it will slowly creep on you and build to a point of tremendous stress.  Let it go!  It doesn't matter.  What matters is love and belonging. 

I have received so much from reading and listening to Brene Brown and her discussions on shame and vulnerability.  "Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect."  I love it.  Can you imagine a society where perfection was not the measure for success?  Can you imagine the relief that would come from dropping that heavy load of impossibilities?  I can, and I have felt that weight lifted. 

I invite you to cut off the negative talk about other women.  At least pay attention to how much you may participate in this behavior.  Take notice of how you feel while you're talking and afterwards.  Did it lift you up?  My guess will be no. 

"We can be each others' most magnificent ally or we can be each others' biggest nightmare.  And the only reason a woman would take another woman down is because they have such a lack of their own self.  So I have a lot of compassion for women who are easily threatened by other women because it says more about who they are and their lack of self love.  The more that you love yourself, all aspects of your experience, you can't help but look at another woman and see them doing the best they can with what they know, just living, breathing, thriving, trying." -Seane Corn, Women Ignite Virtual Conference Interview

Instead of the put-downs, shoot a text over to your girlfriend and tell her how amazing she is.  Tell her you believe in her.  Tell her you support her.  Tell her your struggles.  Show your vulnerabilities as well.  That trust and acceptance will allow you AND your sisters to shine.  Embrace the magic the sisterhood holds.  Together we are so powerful, more powerful than you could have ever imagined.  I am determined to delve deeper into this world.  Come join me!  Tell me what you have learned and are learning!

Haha, I was only planning on posting this poem, but I got completely consumed by the meaning I got from it and how it relates to some of the strong women I have been following this year.  But here you go!

The Invitation by Oriah
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.


By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved